


Beginning of Something New

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3774793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has done pretty well keeping the fact that he’s gay a secret.  Especially since his last relationship was horrible and he has no interest in putting himself in a vulnerable position again.  Or at least, that was all until he started having feelings for a cutie with green eyes and brown curls…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be kind of AU given Louis' background. I hope you enjoy! This is only my second "Larry" story and the fist was just a goofy little drabble. Please let me know how I'm doing so far. Thank you for reading!

Chapter One

Louis was lying awake, unable to sleep as per usual. He glanced at the clock. 3:05am. He couldn’t even tell you how many times he’d seen 2am and 3am even 4am and 5am. Sleep never came easily for him. His mind just wouldn’t shut off enough for him to sleep. And tonight was one of those nights were the thoughts were pouring as if from a faucet. They were on the road. So far, they’d done six of the allotted twenty concerts, and Louis was already exhausted. Oh he loved it though - don’t get him wrong - but when you aren’t able to sleep at night, nothing is really all that enjoyable.

In the bunk above him, he could hear the soft snores coming from Harry. At least someone was able to get some good rest. Louis rolled his eyes. His mood changed shifted though as his thoughts stayed stuck on Harry. Louis had had a crush on him for almost a year now. But he wasn’t about to say anything. Management had made it very clear that his sexual orientation was to be kept under wraps - it would affect sales. Louis swore some days he felt more like an ATM than an actual musician.

So he played the part of “good boy” and did exactly what he was told. No one knew he liked guys. And it wasn’t too hard to hide. The band as a whole were just a bunch of big dumb goofs who always played around and flirted with each other anyway. It wasn’t like it was any big deal when he’d sometimes venture out of his shell and give Harry a little extra attention. 

But Louis wasn’t relationship material anyway, so that eased his mind somewhat. His last relationship had been an utter nightmare, and his stomach churned at the memories. God, his ex lived for making Louis miserable and unhappy. Because if he was miserable and unhappy, he was easier to control. Louis swore on his life he’d never put himself in that position again. Relationships meant opening up and allowing yourself to get hurt. And Louis had been hurt way more times than he could count. No, relationships were out of the question.

Above, Harry grunted.

Harry was out of the question. 

And it wasn’t so bad - really. He just had to put on this facade. And he wasn’t a half-crap actor. He pulled it off fairly well. But God, why did Harry have to be so damn adorable at everything he did? It was enough to drive a man insane. Louis sucked in a breath as Harry’s weight shifted and the bunk creaked slightly. Again, his thoughts drifted to his last relationship. It’d been good...about 30% of the time. And Louis found himself living for that 30% - sacrificing for that 30%. It wasn’t until he met the guys that he realized he was worth more than just 30% of someone’s time, effort, attention, and love. Oh, Louis was worth so much more than just 30%. And the next guy - if there ever was going to be a next guy - would know it. 

It killed him though - thinking of how his ex was being paid off in monthly installments for keeping his big mouth closed. Louis was the one having to sacrifice while Jordan was getting all the benefits. What else was new though. He shifted his weight and tried to turn over into a more comfortable position. Finally, he just got up. He padded across the narrow hall of the tour bus to the mini kitchenette. There, he fixed himself a cup of hot tea. That always helped him. Hot tea just like his mum used to fix. God, there were nights he missed her. At least he could talk to her. The band were his best friends, and he had to keep one of the biggest parts of himself secret from them. It was killer.

Louis sat down on the red and black leather sectional couch. He tucked his feet underneath him and began to sip his tea. Maybe it’d help him get at least a few hours of sleep. Tomorrow they were stopping for an interview with some radio station. There was always some interview or event. He just wanted to get some rest so he could enjoy himself like everyone else seemed to be. He missed his usual personality. He didn’t like being grumpy all the time.

“Hey,” a sleepy voice pulled Louis from his thoughts. Louis glanced up and saw Harry standing there, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. He yawned. Louis hoped he hadn’t woken him up. He’d tried to be quiet.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Louis asked, suddenly concerned. He could manage somewhat without sleep. He was kind of used to it. But he wanted Harry to be well rested.

“N-no,” Harry stifled a yawn and sat down next to Louis. Louis stiffened slightly. Out of all the band members, Harry was his favorite and everyone knew it too - especially Harry. Which could be annoying if you’re trying to be coy about things. But Louis supposed he encouraged him sometimes. He couldn’t really help it. Harry just seemed to beg for his attention, and it was so fun to give it to him. Louis took a sip of his tea and Harry said matter-of-factly, “You haven’t slept all week.”

“Observant,” Louis was smug. He didn’t want to come across as cold. But then again, management had chewed his ass last week for spending too much focus on Harry during interviews. He had to keep his distance. But God, Harry was making that difficult.

“Don’t be an ass,” Harry pulled his knees up and rested his chin on his knee. He was one of the one people in the world that could put Louis back in his place. Or at least who Louis allowed to do so. Louis rolled his eyes and made a bratty face, but softened his tone.

“Sorry. It’s just been hard this past week.”

“Why’s that?” Harry asked, and Louis cursed how long the boy’s eye lashes were.

“No idea,” Louis took a sip of tea again. The reason was sitting right next to him. Harry was driving him mad. Completely bonkers. And management had a close eye on him now. He had to be careful. But God, he wanted to brush Harry’s curls from his eyes like he always did. Louis bit his bottom lip and did so. No one was going to see anyway. Harry just smiled a sleepy smile as Louis played with his curls.

“Curly-haired boy,” Louis t’sked lovingly.

Harry blushed slightly, preening a little under the older boy’s attention. Harry would never say this to Louis, but Louis was his first real crush. He’d never experienced a butterflies before until he’d met Louis. Now, butterflies seemed to be all he felt. He had no idea anyone could be as beautiful as Louis. But, here he was. And he was playing with Harry’s curls. Sometimes, Harry felt as though God had blessed him with his curls just so that Louis could play with them. He loved his curls. Everyone knew it. Louis was always finding excuses to play with them and touch them.

“You need to sleep,” Harry said sternly, “you’ll make yourself sick with exhaustion or something. I-I’m worried about you.”

Louis turned away slightly to hide the blush and smile that were plastered on his face. He preened at the thought of Harry worrying over him. Louis stopped playing with the curls and tousled Harry’s hair, “Don’t worry about me, Haz. Really. I’ll be okay. It’s just been...a difficult week.”

“Why’s that?” Harry asked.

“You and your questions, Haz!” Louis pretended to sound annoyed but both he and Harry knew he wasn’t. Finally, he caved, “Management’s on my ass lately.” He decided to gift Harry with a tiny bit of the truth. “They say I mess with you too much and pay too much attention to you sometimes. And that I need to back off. What do you think of that?”

“Well, you only do that because I’m your favorite,” Harry peered at Louis through his long lashes and Louis was almost done for. 

“Right,” Louis regained his composure and put a firm hand on Harry’s knee, “I’m like this with all the guys. You’re just a little special though,” Louis risked it and winked. And was pleased with himself when a blush formed on Harry’s cheeks. 

“You want to know what I have to say about that?”

“Hmm, love?” Louis asked, paying more attention to Harry’s lips than his actual words.

“Stick it to them.”

Louis let out a laugh at Harry’s boldness, “Pardon?”

“I say stick it to them,” Harry was now leaning against Louis on the couch and Louis’ arm instinctively wrapped around the younger boy.

“Do you now?” Louis raised a bemused eyebrow. 

“Of course,” Harry’s voice was adventurous, “show them they don’t control you.”

Louis leaned his head on Harry’s, wishing a thousand times that he could do just that. But maybe Harry was on to something a little. He just had to watch his physical contact with Harry for the most part. He could still mess with him sometimes. Watch him get flustered. That was one of Louis’ favorite things to do. Of course, they were kind of failing at the no physical contact thing at the moment.

“You do know that means I’ll just mess with you even more, right?” Louis asked mischievously. 

“I can take it,” Harry grinned at Louis and Louis had to fight the urge from slamming his lips against his at that exact moment. Which was quite difficult. “C’mon,” Harry shifted and hopped up off the couch. Louis let out a little groan of disappointment. “Let’s go to bed.”

“But I was comfortable,” Louis pouted.

“C’mon, you need your rest,” Harry protested. He grabbed Louis’ hand and dragged him up from the couch. And Louis wondered when the world he’d started letting baby-faced boys boss him around.

“Fine - mother,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Hey, I’m partially on your ass for my own good,” Harry said, and Louis focused on the words ‘on your ass’ “because if you don’t get sleep, you’ll be a royal git all day tomorrow. And I’m not having that.” He had a point. Louis allowed Harry to pull him towards the bunks.

“Lay down,” Harry instructed.

Louis shot him a look but did so anyway. Mostly out of curiosity. After Louis laid down, Harry laid down next to him. Louis felt his heart race.

“W-what are you doing?” He asked, wondering if maybe this was some sort of dream.

“Helping you fall asleep,” Harry explained, “just close your eyes. I’m going to rub your back until you fall asleep. My mum always used to do this for me when I couldn’t sleep. Works like a charm. Just you watch.”

“Whatever you say, Haz.”

Louis closed his eyes and Harry began to lightly scratch his back with his nails. And God, did it feel amazing. Louis felt his head spin under Harry’s touch. God, this couldn’t be real could it? Harry Styles was in his bed and scratching his back. Louis bit his lower lip. If only management saw this! He’d be a dead man. But God, this was nice.

And just like that, Louis was asleep.


	2. Chapter Two

When Louis woke up, he glanced around, half expecting to see Harry laying next to him. But he was alone and Harry was in his own bunk and everyone else was still asleep. Louis sighed with relief. No one had seen what they’d done last night. Well, it wasn’t like they’d really done anything persay. But still, it’d have been enough for questions to be asked. Louis himself had plenty of questions as well. Like was Harry possibly attracted to him too, or was he just being an adorable little muffin as always? My adorable little muffin, Louis mused. 

He actually felt well-rested. Glancing at his phone, he saw the time was 8am. He hopped out of bed and decided to be in a good mood today. Not that it was much of a decision. Being with Harry last night had set his mood for the entire week!

Louis set out five bowls from the cabinets and poured cereal into each bowl. Then he fixed three cups of tea and two cups of orange juice. After setting everything out onto the fold out table, he headed back to the bunks.

“Wake up, lads!” He shouted, “The day is ours!”

“Go away!” Liam grumbled, pulling his comforter over his head.

“Never!” Louis replied evilly, “C’mon mates, I’ve made us breakfast!”

Harry was now awake. He propped up on his elbow and said, “Well that’s a first.”

“Do you want to eat or not?” Louis asked.

“Fine,” Harry swung down from the top bunk, “I’m up."

“Good!”

“What’s all the yelling about?” Zayn asked groggily.

“Just Louis,” Niall groaned.

“C’mon, I made breakfast!” Louis persisted.

After some encouraging from Louis - more like after some beatings with pillows from Louis - all the boys were awake and eating breakfast at the table together.

“Thanks,” Harry said, shoveling a spoonful of Cocoa Pops into his mouth.

“No problem.”

“You’re in a good mood,” Zayn looked at Louis, his eyes narrowing suspiciously, “Why?”

“Can’t a bloke just want to make a proper breakfast for his mates?”

“A bloke, sure,” Niall looked at Louis suspiciously as well, “but not you.” 

“Hey!”

“Guys,” Harry tried, “Louis did something nice. Let’s not ruin it by being arses about it.”

“Thank you,” Louis casually swung at arm around Harry.

After breakfast, the boys got ready for their interview. It was a radio interview, no cameras. But management had sent over a dress code of what they needed to wear for appearances like this. It wasn’t so bad. Most of it was clothes they’d wear anyway. Still, a dress code was annoying to Louis. And he still wasn’t entirely thrilled about dressing in a moving vehicle.

When they got to the radio station, they were told by one of executives that this would be a pre-recorded show and they would edit out things so not to worry about being totally candid. They were taken to the room where the interview would be conducted. There were three tables with two chairs at each table. There were microphones and water bottles at each table as well. Evian, Louis’ favorite. 

“Don’t worry about sitting in any particular order. Just sit where you want,” one of the DJs instructed.

“Where do you want to sit?” Harry turned to Louis.

“Next to you.”

He shot a look to the handlers. No one but the DJs were going to see them sitting together. They couldn’t exactly argue against Louis. So Louis and Harry sat together at one of the tables. Liam and Zayn sat together next to them, and Niall was at his own table.

“Alrighty,” the DJ said, “We’re going to do a brief introduction. Then I’ll get right into it. I have some questions here the station came up with, and then we have a page of fan-submitted questions. Just be candid and comfortable. We’ll do some editing later before this airs so don’t worry about any slip ups.”

“Sounds good,” Liam said.

“Great. Let’s get started,” the DJ pressed some buttons on her soundboard and then said, “Welcome back. I’m here with the five very handsome boys of One Direction. And we have a special show today. They are going to answer some of the questions you have submitted throughout the week. So let’s get started! Welcome!”

“Thanks, Lila,” Liam said cheerfully, and Louis wondered how in the hell he’d remembered her name when he hadn’t. Underneath the table, Harry’s knee tapped his. Louis copied the action. Harry smiled.

“So you boys are on your most recent tour. What is it like having to share such cramped quarters with four other people?”

“Not so bad,” Niall answered, “unless you get woken up by someone beating you in the arse with a pillow,” he shot Louis a look. Louis just grinned innocently and Lila laughed.

“Sounds like there’s a story there,” she pushed.

“Louis made breakfast,” Harry answered, “and was trying to get us to wake up.”

“By hitting us with pillows,” Liam glared toward Louis who just shot him an innocent look.

“Louis, it sounds like you’re the prankster of the group. Is that true?”

“YES!” Four voices all rang out in unison before Louis had a chance to answer. Well, if the shoe fits…

“I guess that’s your answer,” Louis laughed, “remind me never to make you blokes breakfast again!”

The interview went on and Lila went to the listener questions.

“Harry, the first question is for you. What’s your favorite thing about being on the road?”

“Well…” Harry still wasn’t used to being put on the spot. Sometimes the words were harder to find with little time to compose them, “I guess...just seeing new things. The scenery...for example. Like yesterday...I saw a tree - “

“A tree!” Louis exclaimed sarcastically and Niall laughed, “Do tell more about this tree, love!” 

“It was a neat tree!” Harry tried to defend.

“Ah,” Louis nodded soberly, “a neat tree. Well that changes things, don’t it. ‘What’s your favorite thing about being on tour?’ ‘Seeing neat trees!’” Harry was glaring at him, his cheeks flushed. But he and Louis both knew he loved it when Louis would single him out. “You do talk a lot of shit in interviews, mate,” Louis shook his head.

Harry opened his mouth to say something but Louis interrupted, “Now, if you see a neat shrub, that’s when you should brag about it, love.”

Lila was laughing and so was Niall. Liam and Zayn were rolling their eyes. Harry folded his arms on the table and put his head down. Liam and Niall were now answering some question but Louis was distracted by the boy next to him. He wondered if maybe he’d made him mad. It always worried him that he'd take things a little too far and actually end up saying something hurtful. Louis bit his lower lip and slipped a hand under the table. He poked Harry in the side. Harry jumped up, startled.

“Just making sure you were still alive over there,” Louis smirked, giving him one more poke for good measure as Harry tried to bat his hand away. Off to the side, one of the handlers cleared his throat. Louis shot him a look but folded his hands in his lap. 

Without being able to bother Harry much more, the interview had grown boring. And he let his thoughts wander again. It wasn’t fair. He’d been given one of the most amazing gifts in being a part of this world. And yet, he felt like he’d been robbed slightly. All he wanted was to not be watched like a hawk constantly. Harry’s words popped into his head again - stick it to them. 

Louis leaned in towards Harry and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry reached up and pulled the beanie off his head and put it on his own head. He stuck out his chin, showing his new appearance off to Louis who just smiled and shook his head.

“But it covers your curls, Haz!” Louis protested, trying to snatch the beanie back.

“Nope,” Harry pulled away, “Mine.”

Louis made a bratty face but secretly, his stomach was filled with butterflies. God, Harry looked absolutely precious. And it was as if he knew that too, and was using that for all it was worth. Louis could just kill him. Or kiss him. Either one. He hopped up from his stool and grabbed the beanie off Harry’s head. 

“Mine,” he said, putting the beanie back on his own head. The handlers cleared their throats. Oh shut up, Louis wanted to tell them. They had no reason to expect anything. It wasn’t like he and Harry were in a relationship or ever would be. Why couldn’t they just let them have their fun? If only Jordan hadn’t outed him to management looking for money, he would be just fine. But no. Now he had to be babysat. And Louis never had done well with baby sitters.

“Harry, next question is for you,” Lila continued, “It’s a two-parter. First, any celebrity crushes? And second, what do you look for in a girl?”

Harry’s mind went black. Shit. Why did they always have to ask him that? He just needed a generically prepared answer for each time he got those sorts of questions. He racked his brain trying to think up celebrities.

“Well, I uh...I kind of have this um...thing for 1989 David Hasselhoff,” Harry answered, then laughed letting her know it was just a joke. He noticed Louis’ eyebrow was raised slightly, “And as far as what I look for in a person...just someone who is kind and who can make me laugh.”

Louis straightened slightly. Maybe he was just reading too much into things, but Harry had specifically said ‘person’ and ‘someone’ instead of girl. He let out a relaxed breath. Listening to Harry go on about some crush and what he looks for in women was not what Louis Tomlinson wanted to do today.

The interview carried on. Harry nudged Louis’ leg with his hand. He held his palm upward and Louis put his hand in Harry’s. And they came spent the rest of the entire interview holding each other’s hand with no one knowing.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!

Chapter Three

They were rehearsing for their show in Austin, Texas the next day. Louis almost couldn’t keep his eyes off of Harry the whole freakin’ time. He tried to take his mind off of Harry and focus on the other guys. He remembered Niall hadn’t been annoyed in a while, and zeroed in on him. After rehearsal, Liam asked if the guys would like to do a video diary. It’d be awhile since they’d made one. Louis of course practically jumped at the chance. He loved making those. And watching the guys’ reactions as he came with new ways to be an obnoxious little brat.

So after rehearsal, the guys went back to the bus and sat on the couches while Zayn set up the camera. Louis decided to sit next to Niall and Liam as opposed to Harry. All day he’d wanted to grab Harry and pretty much jump him. Sitting next to the lad would not be very wise. Harry looked a little disappointed to be sitting on the other side of Zayn, but he tried not to mind it too much, or read too far into it. He was still Louis’ favorite...right?

The red light flashed on the camera. They were recording. Louis decided to “make himself comfortable” and sprawl out across the guys. He was sitting in Liam’s lap with his legs across the laps of the other guys. Harry quietly rested his hands on Louis' knees.

“Hello!” He shouted into the camera. Everyone winced at the sheer volume of his voice. Louis laughed. Oh how he’d missed these video diaries. In a regular decimal, he continued, “We’re coming to you guys whilst on tour!”

“From Austin, Texas!” Harry added.

“And we thought we’d just come to y’all - how was that?” Zayn asked excitedly, “Texan enough? Anyway, we thought we’d just come to y’all and do a quick video diary and say hi since it’s been awhile.”

“Too long really,” Louis added. “We were just reflecting on our favorite aspects of touring. Harry’s happens to be ‘neat trees.’ Isn’t that right, love?”

“Oh my God,” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, “Can you not?”

Louis grinned pleased with himself, “Tomorrow night is our show here. We’re quite buzzed about it, really.”

“Really,” Niall spoke up, “we love touring and coming to see you guys. It is just amazing how much love you have for us and we are so…” mid-sentence, Louis licked Niall’s face. Niall, grossed out, couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter.

Harry leaned over the boys to glare at Louis, “Behave,” he said, his voice commanding.

Louis pulled a bratty face. He turned back to the camera and said, “But really, Niall is right. We wouldn’t be here without you and your love and support. So thank you.”

They went back and forth a little while and finally Zayn stopped the recording. When the recording had finished Louis shot Harry a glance. God, he wanted to go over to him and kiss him and it was driving him crazy. He wondered how much trouble he’d get in with management if he did ever make a move. As it was already, they were watching him like a hawk and as far as anyone knew, Harry was totally uninterested.

The guys decided to just hang out and chill for the rest of the day. Things were pretty calm - the calm before the storm, they called it. Management didn’t like them doing too much right before a concert. So they pretty much had the rest of the day to relax before the excitement tomorrow. Liam and Niall started to play a video game and Zayn wanted to Skype with his family. It was just Louis and Harry without much to do.

Louis decided it’d probably best to go do something and not just around with Harry. Just sitting around with Harry could lead to thoughts and thoughts could lead to actions. So Louis hopped up from the couch and grabbed his football. 

“I’m going to go kick around a bit,” Louis announced, in case anyone wondered where he’d gone off to.

“Can I come?” A cheerful voice asked.

Okay...that hadn’t been part of the plan. Louis had wanted to go kick the ball around to get away from Harry and thoughts of Harry. Harry tagging along was not going to exactly help him keep his thoughts under control. Louis tucked the ball under his arm and shrugged, “If you want.”

Harry hopped from the couch and followed Louis out to the massive parking lot. Louis was eyeing Harry out of the corner of his eye. Harry had become like a shadow these last few days. Did that mean something? Louis had no idea. He wasn’t used to this. 

Jordan had been pretty forward. And before and after Jordan, there hadn’t really been anyone. And Louis did not count Jordan as good experience. And he certainly wasn’t going to use Jordan as a how-to guide for getting Harry. 

“I’m horrible at football,” Harry admitted.

“Then why did you come?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow. He really, genuinely wanted to know. 

“To watch you?” Harry adventured. 

“That so?” Louis raised his eyebrow a little more. He felt his stomach knot up a little. And butterflies. He swore only this curly-haired boy had the capability to give him butterflies in his stomach. With Jordan, all he’d felt was more like fear. He didn’t have any of the excitement or giddiness he felt when he was around Harry. Was this what real love felt like? Louis tried to shake the thought from his head. Where had it come from anyway? Love?

Harry kicked at a tuft of grass peeking up from a crack in the cement. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. But how else was he supposed to reply? He wanted to watch Louis. Plain and simple. Now he felt embarrassed. Would Louis make fun of him for saying something so dumb? Instead though, Louis lightly punched him in the arm.

“You think I’m gonna just let you watch, love? I’m going to teach you football.”

“Uh-oh,” Harry’s eyes widened. Sports were never his strong suit. He began to have flashbacks of gym class and being hit in the head and other more painful areas with flying balls. He didn’t know Louis would actually make him participate. His mouth went dry. He was going to make a fool of himself. 

“You’ll be great,” Louis said encouragingly, then sobered a bit, “well, maybe not great. But you’ll have a damn good teacher and he’ll make sure you don’t fall on your ass any more than three - make that four - times.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“C’mon,” Louis sat the ball down, “now show me how you’d walk up to kick it.”

Harry walked up and pretended to kick the ball. Louis winced. Okay, he didn’t think Harry would be that bad. He hid a smile behind his hand and tried to sound encouraging again, “No, no love. You kick with the inside of your foot. Like this,” Louis demonstrated. He rested a hand on Harry’s shoulder and pretended to the kick the ball, “See?”

“Ah, I think so?” Harry’s brows furrowed, “Promise you won’t royally make fun of me after this?”

Louis t’sked, “Can’t promise you that, love. C’mon. Try again.”

After a little practice, Harry kicked the ball. It just rolled. But that was okay with Louis. Eventually he just gave up and said, “Alright, enough of this. I’m going to pretend I’m playing a match. You come and try to steal the ball from me.”

Harry made a ‘yikes’ face and Louis just smiled, “C’mon, Hazz. I’ll go gentle.”

Louis’ mind (and Harry’s, unbeknownst to Louis) went to a dirty place.

“Fine,” Harry cleared his throat, “I’ll try.”

Louis kept blocking him though and Harry had no chance of ever stealing the ball. A few minutes in, Harry’s foot tangled under Louis’ leg and Lou’s went down, dragging Harry down with him. Right away he felt a sting in his elbow. Great. A skinned elbow right before a show. He didn’t want to look to see how bad it was. Maybe he could just pretend he didn’t notice. Oh but he was not good with pain and it was clear by his face that he was hurting.

Harry untangled himself and grabbed hold of Louis’ arm, “Lou, you’re bleeding!”

“Damn it,” Louis cursed. For as tough as he wanted to come across, he was a big dumb baby when it came to accidental pain and blood. He cursed his stupid elbow. Now Harry would have to see him being a big dumb baby about it. Louis tried to clear his throat and jut out his chin. Act tough, Lou.

“Let me see,” Harry gently turned Louis’ arm, “Yeah, that’s pretty bad. Um...let’s go back to the bus. There’s a medicine cabinet. We can get it cleaned off and bandaged…”

“No!” A look of fear crossed Louis’ eyes.

“What?” Harry asked, totally confused, “Lou, it’ll get infected. C’mon.”

“No peroxide.”

“Oh…” Harry looked at Lou. His face looked horrified and he kept glancing at his elbow and wincing. This could be amusing - tough Louis Tomlinson scared of peroxide and a skinned elbow. But it wasn’t amusing to Harry. He felt bad for him. "Lou, it’ll be okay. C’mon. If you want, I’ll clean it for you. I’ll be gentle. I promise it.”

“I don’t like pain,” Louis admitted. And he didn’t. Something Jordan never seemed to understand. Jordan always treated Louis like his body was an object to use and toss around and be as rough as he pleased with. And Louis had no voice to argue. The thought of pain wasn’t just scary to him, it dredged up memories of different kinds of pain - physical, emotional. All leading back to Jordan.

“Okay,” Harry did something that surprised Louis. He knelt back down on the concrete next to Louis and took his hand gently in his own, “But we have to clean it, boo. Please, just come on and let me clean it. It’ll get infected and I’ll be sad,” Harry shot him the best puppy-dog face he could muster. And Louis was hung up wondering where in the fuck “boo” had come from? Not that he minded…

“Haz,” Louis placed a hand against Harry’s cheek, “that face should be illegal. It’s lethal, you know.”

“So you’ll let me clean it?” Harry brightened.

“Fine.”

Harry helped Louis up off the concret. They headed back to the bus. Harry carried Louis’ ball for him and once inside the bus, the guys asked what’d happened.

“Jeez, H. You’ve right injured the poor lad!” Niall looked shocked.

“It’s no big deal,” Louis, back around the rest of the guys, answered as toughly as he could muster, “Just a little blood. I’ve had worse.”

“Get your butt in here,” Harry called from the small bathroom.

Louis took a deep breath and made his way into the bathroom. Harry had set out peroxide, cotton balls, a gauze pad, and bandages on the counter. Louis’ eyes narrowed in on the peroxide. Fuck that.

“Don’t even think about it,” Harry warned as Louis backed out towards the hall, “Get in here.”

Sighing, Louis walked back into the bathroom. Harry unscrewed the cap to the peroxide, “Come here,” he instructed, his voice very gentle, “I’m going to clean the cut out with the peroxide and the cotton. Then I’ll put on some ointment and a bandage. It’ll all be over within the minute. But you have to let me.”

Louis sighed, Persistent little thing, wasn’t he? Finally Louis turned around and let Harry have access to his bloody elbow. He bit his bottom lip as hard as he could and let out a small whimper. Harry couldn’t help but smile.

“Haven’t even touched you yet, boo.”

“Boo,” Louis tasted the nickname, “Ya know, my mum used to call me ‘boo bear’ when I was a kid. I hated it. Like, royally detested it. Say boo bear.”

“Boo bear,” Harry did as he was told.

“See, when you say it, I like it.”

“Alright, boo bear,” Harry wet the cotton again, “just remember, it’ll be over in a minute.”

Harry wiped at the cut with the cotton. Louis jumped slightly and winced and let out a groan. He cursed himself for being such a baby about this. It was just a little scratch. And it was just peroxide. And Harry...Harry was being so tender. Louis hadn’t felt someone be so tender towards him in such a long time. Jordan, obviously hadn’t been. And Harry’s touch was a welcome change to what Louis had tried to be used to.

“All done with the worst of it. You’re doing great,” Harry applied the ointment and then the bandage, “I told you it’d be quick. Was that so bad?”

“Maybe I should get hurt more often if it means you bandaging me up?” Louis winked. Harry blushed and put away the medical stuff.

“Y’know, you should try going five minutes without teasing someone.”

“Who said I was teasing?” Louis jumped up onto the countertop. The other guys were engrossed in a movie they were watching. The volume was up loud. Louis finally had some privacy with Harry. He decided to test the waters a little bit with him. To try to find out where they stood with each other. Because if there was one thing Louis Tomlinson didn’t like, it was being confused. 

“You usually are,” Harry was taking his time putting the stuff away. He was kind of treasuring this private moment they had. And so far, no one seemed to really be missing them.

“Sometimes,” Louis reached out and touched one of the curls, “not always.”

“It’s hard to tell sometimes,” Harry admitted as Louis continued to play with his hair.

“True. I’ll make it simple. When we’re alone - like this - no teasing. Or if I do, it’ll be obvious to you that I am.”

“Okay…” Harry glanced up at Louis and their eyes locked on to one another's. 

“But if you mention how ‘neat’ the trees are, well love, I’m going to be merciless.”


	4. Chapter Four

It was by far one of the best concerts they’d ever had. The crowd was terrific. The best one yet. Everyone was so enthused and it only made the band’s performance even stronger. Louis and Liam made the fans laugh with a romantic slow dance and Niall slipped and fell once which had sent them all roaring. Every once in awhile, Louis would look across the stage at Harry. God, he looked so stunning. The bluish light cast this gorgeous hue on him and he looked absolutely radiant. Louis bit his lip, knowing his was staring longer than he should be - but he just couldn’t help it.

He didn’t realize that Harry was having similar thoughts and had been struggling most of the night to keep his own eyes off of Louis. Which was almost impossible, especially with Lou doing that thing where he’d press his hand to his stomach when singing. Harry tried to tell himself to snap out of it, but God, Louis looked perfect.

Louis couldn’t take it much more. The show was half over and he’d had no interaction with Harry since the start of it. And he needed a fix. So he walked over to Harry and slapped him on the butt. Something Liam always did to him anyway so management wouldn't be too suspicious. Harry hopped a little, and a huge grin spread across his face. Louis wet his lips and felt slightly dizzy. He made a mental note to do that more often.

Especially if it got that sort of reaction from Harry.

“These two,” Liam rolled his eyes to Zayn who laughed.

“Blind as bats, both of them,” Zayn shook his head.

After the concert the guys were on cloud nine backstage. You’d think they were high! And in a way, they were. Everyone was jumping on each other and hugging and laughing. They were a sweaty gross mess but they were on the top of the world. Louis especially. Nothing could go wrong from here. He and Harry shared a glance and Louis winked, watching Harry flush. Yeah, it was only up from here.

After the concert, they met on the stage to greet a few fans who’d gotten special passes. Each fan was permitted to ask one question each to either the band as a whole or whomever they chose. The first question went to him - 

“Louis, who is your favorite person in the band?” A girl with large glasses asked.

Louis raised an eyebrow. He hated those questions. Didn’t people know how disrespectful it was to ask such a thing? He rolled his eyes slightly and opened his mouth as he struggled to think of an answer that wouldn’t completely tear down the poor girl, “Well...I don’t think I can pick a singular person specifically. I like all these lads in their own ways.”

“What ways?” Another girl asked.

“Well...I like Niall because he always cracks up at my jokes. Like completely loses it. Sometimes I worry the poor lad will actually pee himself..."

"Hey!" Niall sounded offended but was already red-faced and shaking with laughter. 

"I like Liam because he is always supportive and a good listener. Zayn is very smart and keeps me from not going completely crazy at times. And Harry…” Louis’ eyes flicked towards the younger boy, “Well how can you not love Harry?”

Harry’s cheeks flushed again. Love? Had he heard that right? Surely Louis only meant in a friendship sort of way, right? Not like romantic love. There was no way. He glanced to Louis, utterly confused. Louis just winked. Okay. That wasn’t helpful.

Louis was biting his lip again. That’d been risky. But oh so worth it. And he truly did love Harry. He loved all the lads. So what was the huge deal, exactly? He shrugged casually and the questions went on. After the questions, the boys were permitted to go back to the bus. They were all exhausted and Louis was pretty certain he’d finally be able to get some rest tonight. When they got back to the bus, the boys changed and settled in on the couch to talk about the show. Harry lingered behind as Louis pulled on a gray t-shirt. Louis turned away, blushing furiously knowing that Harry was staring. Since when did he ever feel self-conscious? Things were starting to get dangerous and Louis knew it. But it was too wonderful to stop. He pulled down the shirt and turned to Harry.

“So, did you enjoy yourself tonight, love?”

“Very much,” Harry nodded, staring at how tightly the t-shirt stretched over Louis’ chest.

“I could tell,” Louis knew he was treading dangerous waters. And he had absolutely no clue what he was doing. Jordan had been his first, and was a horrible example of anything except how to be an abusive prick. And Louis was scared. Scared of Harry, scared of his feelings, scared of screwing up. He tossed the fringe from his eyes and said, “C’mon. Let’s go see what the lads are up to,” he swung his arm around Harry’s shoulders and they headed out to the couches.

“Louis…” Harry stopped him, “What...what did you mean when you said you love me?”

Louis froze. He was hoping Harry would just have brushed that off as one of his usual comments. Apparently not. Louis bit his lower lip, trying to gather his thoughts. Finally, he t’sked and put a hand to Harry’s cheek, “Of course, I love you Haz. You know that. I love all of you.”

“But me the most?” Harry asked quietly.

“You the most.” 

“I...I love you too,” Harry’s voice was shy and there was a bright blush forming on his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip, turning it a brighter, plumper, shade of red. Louis wet his own lips, thinking of how damn hard everything was getting. Everything meaning his relationship with Harry - whatever it was - the secret he was having to keep, his past with Jordan, and of course, the crotch of his skinny jeans not fitting properly. 

Louis regained his composure, “Of course you do, Haz,” he then pulled a bratty face and added, “I’m pretty damn irresistible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it so far?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It was midnight when Louis’ phone buzzed from under his pillow. Everyone had been completely drained after the show and they’d all gone to bed. Louis had just fallen asleep, and he was pissed off at the cellular device who’d dared wake him. He grabbed under his pillow and looked at the screen. One unread text message from UNKNOWN. Louis’ brow furrowed. Their cellphone were on tight security. No one had access to their phone numbers but them and family.

Louis’ curiosity got the best of him, and he clicked under MESSAGES. Sure enough, there was the message from UNKNOWN. As his eyes scanned the screen, he knew exactly who’d sent the text message.

“Having fun, Lou? Living it up big, eh? Don’t get too used to your comfy new life. You’re still my boy and I have the power to take this all away. Sweet dreams, Lou.”

Louis felt his stomach clench. He felt physically nauseous and very dizzy. Suddenly the tour bus seemed very small and very cramped. He couldn’t breathe. He hopped out of bed and towards the living area where it was more open. He clutched the phone in his hand, rereading and rereading the message over and over again. How’d Jordan gotten his number? And what did he mean by taking all this away? Louis sure as bloody hell wasn’t going to let anyone take any of this away.

“Lou?” Louis felt sick at the nickname, but seeing that it was Harry, softened a bit.

“Go back to bed,” Louis grumbled, not in the mood. Jordan was a different life. He didn’t want to drag Harry into all of that. Besides, how exactly would he even go about explaining Jordan? Oh yeah, I have this old best friend who turned psycho on me? Yeah, no.

“What’s wrong?” Harry rubbed sleep from his eye.

“I said go back to bed!” Louis snapped. He’d never snapped at Harry before. Liam, sure. Niall, often. Zayn, sometimes. But Harry, never. And it took them both by surprise. Harry looked as though Louis had slapped him. And Louis wanted to slap himself for making Harry look like that. 

“I’m sorry, love,” Louis softened, “just...go back to bed.”

“No,” Harry was defiant, “You’re not okay, Lou. And I’m not going to go back to bed with you like this. Talk to me. Tell me what’s happened. Please.”

Louis wet his lips. Maybe he should just tell Harry. It’d be nice to be able to open up to someone about all of this. And Harry would be the best person to do that with. But Louis still wasn’t sure he was ready to reopen that chapter of his life. Not even his own mother knew the extent of the issues with Jordan. But Louis was desperate. And frightened. That text message had scared the shit out of him.

“Sit,” Louis crumpled onto the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Harry did as he was told, and Louis said, “Are you sure you want to hear this? Because it’s not good, Harry. It’s a mess. A mess I’m not sure I want to drag you into.”

“If you’re in a mess, I’ll be in it with you,” Harry offered bravely.

Louis reached out and touched a curl, “Alright,” he sighed and rolled his eyes upward, “Where to begin…” he let out a soft chuckle, “Well...okay. A few years ago, I met this boy. And he was unlike anyone I’d ever met before. He just commanded things. And I was very shy then. And so I was mesmerized by him, love. Completely taken with him. We had a...um...relationship. It lasted a while. He was the first guy I’d ever been with. First person I’d ever been with,” Louis glanced to Harry to check for any judgment or disgust on his face. He found none.

“Tell me about Jordan, Lou,” Harry encouraged.

“Well, things were great for like a week. But then things got bad. We always fought. And he was always so...violent. He did things to me that I wouldn’t wish on anyone,” Louis fumbled his fingers and Harry laid a gentle hand on top of Louis’. Louis cleared his throat and continued, “but I was so young, Haz. So god damn young. And new to that whole world. I had no idea. No fucking clue. I assumed that was just how it was. So I let him use me however he liked. And I just kept telling myself that I was doing it out of love, and you make sacrifices for love.”

Harry shook his head, “Lou, those aren’t sacrifices. That was destruction. He was destroying you…” Harry felt his eyes sting with tears. And Louis’ were already filled with tears that hadn’t spilled yet. That he hadn’t let spill for years.

“I realize that now. I finally got away. I left Jordan and all of that behind, Haz. And I swore I’d never go back to that again. Like I said, things could be good for awhile. But I realized something being around you lads...that I am worth so much more than just a small percentage of someone’s time or affection. I deserve so fucking much more than that.”

“You do,” Harry gave his hand a small squeeze.

“Thank you, love,” Louis’ cleared his throat again and continued, surprised by how easily the words came when talking with Harry, “When we were just starting this all out, Jordan approached management. Kid is smart as a whip, Haz. He told management he knew the game. He said they’d never be able to make money off of some gay kid when the main fan base is teenage girls. And he threatened to go public about me. So they’re paying him off in monthly installments to keep his mouth shut.”

“Lou!” Harry’s eyes widened.

“And that’s why management watches me so much. That’s why they’re always on my case for being too close to you. They’re worried I’ll be a liability and they’ll lose money on me. So it’s all one big secret. And now you know.”

Harry tried to process all the information, “But...but what happened tonight?”

“Tonight,” Louis sucked in a breath and handed Harry his phone, “this came.”

Harry read over the text, “Louis, you have to show security!”

“I will in the morning,” Louis sighed, wishing this was all a nightmare and he’d wake up. And now Harry knew everything and that’d surely change things between them. Louis didn’t want that. His heart would break.

“Good,” Harry handed back the phone, “Lou, this is all so much. And you’ve been carrying this weight around this whole time, alone?” When Louis nodded, Harry pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t until Louis’ head was on Harry’s shoulder that the tears came. Harry smoothed Louis’ hair and rubbed his back and tried everything he could think of to soothe him. His own heart broke at the pain Louis had been in for so long. And the mask he always had on.

“I-I just want my life to be how it was before Jordan,” Louis wiped away a tear, “before he ruined me. I used to be so happy, Haz. I used to be the class clown. I used to be the prankster. I still am. I try to be. But sometimes at night, I just get overwhelmed.”

“You shouldn’t go through this alone,” Harry planted a kiss on Louis’ temple and Louis relaxed under the surprising act of affection, “and you don’t ever have to again. I’m here, Lou. And we’ll get through this together.”

Louis sat up and wiped the tears, “Haz...if we’re going to be sharing secrets...I have one more.”

“Tell me.”

“I-I…” Louis rolled his eyes upward and said quickly, “I’m absolutely in love with you.”

It took Harry a moment to register, and Louis was worried he’d royally fucked everything up in saying that. But it was worth a shot, and Harry deserved to know. Before Harry could say anything, Louis continued, “But I’m not good boyfriend material, Haz. I can’t be with you. And you don’t even like me in that way. And I’m so bloody stupid. But I just had to tell you…”

“Lou!” Harry interrupted, “Stop it. Let me say something,” Louis paused, fearful of what Harry would say, “I...I have feelings for you too.”

“Pardon?” Louis wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly.

“You heard me,” a huge grin broke over Harry’s face, “I’ve had a crush on you since day one, Lou. I just wasn’t sure how to say anything.”

Louis was overwhelmed. Okay. This had to be a dream. This couldn’t possibly be real.

“Haz…we can’t,” Louis shook his head, “Management...and I don’t know the first thing about being a good boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” Harry rolled his eyes, “we’ll figure out management. Even if we have to keep it some big secret, I want to be with you, boo bear. I only want to be with you. And guess what?”

“Hmm?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know the first thing about being a boyfriend either. So we can just learn together.”

All fear Louis’d felt had long vanished by now, “Oh, Haz…” 

“I want to be with you, Louis. I want to be with you more than anything. Please say you do too.”

“Of course I do, love,” Louis brushed a curl from Harry’s face.

“Well you know what we have to do now, right?” Harry asked, bashfully.

“What’s that, my love?”

“You have to be my first kiss.”

“Ah,” Louis raised an eyebrow, “Do I, now?”

“Yes,” Harry looked very bashful, but his voice was anything but, “Please?”

“You just said please,” Louis smiled, completely enamored with this boy.

“Was that wrong?”

“No,” Lou shook his head, “just...cute. Alright. I guess I can kiss you,” Louis was grinning as he leaned in. His lips gently brushed Harry’s. He didn’t want to be too rough. The last thing he ever wanted to do in this lifetime would be to hurt Harry. But Harry wasn’t having just sweet and gentle. He seemed to beg for more. Louis gently nipped at Harry’s bottom lip. Their kiss lasted far longer than Louis’d ever kissed or been kissed before. When they pulled away, they were both blushing and smiling from ear to ear.

“I’m looking forward to getting to do more of that,” Louis gave Harry’s knee a gentle squeeze.

Harry was blushing furiously, but the smile on his face was heaven to Lou, “Me too.”


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Harry and Louis went to talk to security first thing that morning. Louis was given a new cell phone with another unlisted number. He was only permitted to have his mother, security, and management. After meeting with security, he and Harry decided it’d be best to keep things between them from management. Louis was already in trouble with them, and that was before they’d gotten together. No one wanted to see what management could do - probably try to keep them as separate as possible - so they decided to not mention it. And the idea of a secret romance sounded fun to the boys - for now. But they did agree they needed to tell the guys.

Louis was worried what they’d have to say. He didn’t want them to think any differently of him. And he was so used to keeping his sexuality a secret, he’d automatically assumed that if people found out, they’d hate him for it. Something he’d struggled with for too long now. But Harry kept assuring him that the guys were his lads, and they weren’t going to love him any less. When they got back on the bus, Zayn said -

“There they are! Where did you two sneak off to this morning?”

“Had to have a chat with security,” Louis cleared his throat and decided to go with, “some little brat got ahold of my number and made some prank texts last night. New phone. Oh, and get this, I’m not allowed to have any contacts but my mom and management and security.”

“Oh,” Niall looked slightly disappointed, “thought you two’d done something more...exciting.”

“We had speculations,” Liam nodded.

“Like what?” Louis’ eyes narrowed.

“N-nothing,” Liam coughed.

“Zayn?” Louis turned to the other boy. 

“Hm...I dun...I dun...no,” Zayn mumbled, rubbing his eye and glancing away.

“We actually need to talk with you guys about something,” Harry put a hand on Louis’ shoulder, “Can you join us on the couches, please?”

“This is weird,” Liam sat down, glancing around, “What’s up?”

“This is where they tell us they’re secretly dating,” Niall laughed.

“What?” Louis and Harry both narrowed in on Niall.

“It’s just a joke,” Niall held up his hands in surrender, “Sorry.”

Louis made a face and turned to Harry who was trying to keep from cracking up. But his dimples were giving him away and Louis just couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. And then Harry followed suit. They fell into each other they were laughing so hard.

“I-I don’t get it…” Niall raised an eyebrow.

“They’ve gone full looney on us,” Zayn shook his head.

“Both of you should be committed,” Liam rolled his eyes.

Harry cleared his throat and Louis coughed into his fist. It was pretty hilarious though. Had they really been so obvious? Louis finally regained his composure and said, “Niall is not wrong on that. We uh...we wanted to tell you guys exactly that. We’re...together.”

“Is this a joke?” Zayn’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“Nope, not a joke. You owe me!” Niall reached over to Zayn, palm open.

“Wait...did you two bet on us?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Okay. This was hilarious.

“What the hell, you guys?” Louis would have been angry if it wasn’t so funny.

“Well...yeah.”

“Okay,” Harry held up a hand, “Well, Louis and I are together. But we don’t want management to know, got it? They know about Louis, but they don’t know about me. They don’t think we’d be marketable if we were gay. Which is stupid, but it is what it is. So we have to keep it underwraps.”

“Guys,” Liam stroked his chin, his face looked concerned, “are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, surely something like that can take it’s toll…”

“I think it’s romantic,” Harry nuzzled closer to Louis. Louis beamed and planted a kiss on Harry’s temple.

“Okay,” Zayn held up a hand, “As happy as we are for you two - and as much as we’ll do what we can to help you keep this secret - we need to set some ground rules. PDA is fine, as long as it doesn’t cross a line.”

“And as long as you two don’t get too grossly cute,” Liam added.

“And no sex stuff with us in the same area,” Niall added.

“Sex...sex stuff?” Harry bit his lower lip, making it plump and red. He hadn’t thought about sex stuff yet. And he was nervous. 

“Damn it, Niall,” Louis glared at his friend. He placed a soft hand on Harry’s back, “We just got together last night! We haven’t even thought about sex stuff!” Then whispered into Harry’s ear, “No rush, love. Whenever you’re comfortable.”

He mentally cursed Niall for jumping the game. And now Harry was uncomfortable. Louis wanted to make sure whatever they did, Harry was totally comfortable. Not like when he had been with Jordan. Waiting for Louis to be ready had been a joke to Jordan.

“Well, I’m happy for you two,” Liam said, easing the tension.

“Same here,” Niall added.

“I’d be happy too,” Zayn glared to Niall, “if I didn’t owe Niall a hundred dollars.” 

After answering a few more questions, the guys decided to put in a movie and let Harry and Louis have some alone time to talk. They headed to the bunks and closed the curtain, separating them from the living area. 

“Harry,” Louis sat down on his bunk and motioned for Harry to join him, “Come here.”

Harry gulped and slowly sat down next to Louis.

Louis rubbed his back gently. Still pissed at Niall. “Look, Haz. What’ Niall said...he doesn’t know anything. If what he said bothered you, can you tell me?”

“I-I just never gave the sex stuff any thought,” Harry blushed furiously. He bit his lip again, causing it to turn a deeper shade of red, “I don’t know...I guess I’m just nervous. Is that lame?”

“Not at all, Haz,” Lou continued to rub his back, “I was scared my first time. The thing is, Jordan didn’t care. He just...did it. And it was horrible. And painful. Our first time, I want you to be ready. And I want you to be as comfortable and pleasured as possible, Haz. To Jordan, I was just a body to use. I won’t do that to you, love.”

“Thank you,” Harry blushed again. He felt silly, but Louis was being so gentle and comforting.

“Of course. We’ll take it slow. Everything at your pace, love.”

Harry smiled, dimples showing, “Can you believe those idiots actually bet on us?”

Louis laughed, happy at Harry’s lightened mood. He rolled his eyes, “I guess they aren’t as big as idiots as we think. Hell, they picked up on us before we did.”

“We should give them some credit for that, shouldn’t we?”

Louis tapped his chin as if thinking it over, “Nah,” he finally said, “It’d just go to their heads.”

“Lou…” Harry blushed again, “thank you for being understanding...about...things.”

“Of course, Haz. Anything for you,” Louis kissed him.


End file.
